The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
