It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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