Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize