So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
