i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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