Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
