Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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