I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
