dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
