dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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