I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
