he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
