whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
