How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
