how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
