Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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