there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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