Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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