real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
