im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
