So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
