operation have a gay friend backfired
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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