I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
