DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize