i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
