No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
