I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
did you just send me my own nude
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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