you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
