I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
