There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
