u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize