Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How does one acquire holy water?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
