We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
