did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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