There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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