I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize