i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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