we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
