I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
