forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
