dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
