Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
