There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
