You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
