Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
