OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
