i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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