We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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