that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
