Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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