Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
