This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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