your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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