The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
