Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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