i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
