also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
where am i from again
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
