I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
