That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
