sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
