His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my being single is dangerous.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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