I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
