It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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