the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
