so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize