and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
