just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
