porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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